Faith

It was raining. Hard. It did not seem like the clouds would ever thin.  How else could the sky be that dark?  The noise of the raindrops on the deserted city sidewalk seemed deafening. In the middle of the night, one cannot sleep when a storm this size hovers on the built-up town.

I sat at the window of my apartment. Looking out into the soggy and dark night, my thoughts wandered. It had been weeks, years since I had seen the sun.  At least that's what it felt like. I thought I was going mad.  How can I know the sun exists? Such a silly question.  Everybody knows it exists. It has been so long, maybe, just maybe, I have remembered incorrectly? Once I convince myself the sun does not exist, I will know I have gone insane.

But it's so ridiculous! How can one not believe the sun exists?  The rain grew louder as the storm kicked up the heavy mist against my window.  People have challenged the existence of more fundamental things besides the sun.  I broke into a feverish sweat.  Depression began to fill my eyes until it blended in with the drops of rain on my window. How to convince myself there is a sun? I have read about it in books, I have heard people talk of it, could these suffice?  I threw open the window and felt the wet, cold air hit my face.  No sun. Not in this town, anyway. If there was a sun, how could the rain fall to the earth without being evaporated? How could the skies be so dark?  What need would there be for street lights?  I looked up to the sky again. No sun.

No, the sun does exist. It must. Why would I be talking about it? How could I conceive such a concept unless someone, or myself, had experienced it? Feverish minds are incapable of making something like that up. But oh how sick I was. I needed to see the sun badly.  The rain persisted with a force like that of a strong river.  The noise, deafening still.  If I was so certain the sun existed, why couldn't I explain where it was?  I know it comes and goes with regularity.  This storm's duration has surpassed the sun's schedule many times over.  I held on tightly to the feeling of gloom, dejection, depression, for these so complemented the attitude outside my window.  Maybe I didn't need the sun.  If there was a sun, I would still feel like this.  If there was a sun, I would still be so miserable.

The silence of the outdoors tore my attention away from the battle within my head.  On the horizon, a dim light appeared.  The first I had seen in ages. The smell of a fresh fallen rain came through my open window and quickened my dying senses.  The silence of a clear breeze was broken by a first hesitant songbird and followed by a chorus of his rejoicing companions.

What do you know! Morning already.  The storm has finally cleared.